Such is the inconsistency of real love, that it is always awake to suspicion, however unreasonable; always requiring new assurances from the object of its interest. -Ann Radcliffe


Life had been settling into pretty much what I was used to. I didn't do jack shit except sleep in all day, drink in my fucking fat ass apartment care of Harry Osborn, and head out on the hunt at night. It was the same shit, different day. What I'd been doin' before I blew into New York and Soul Boy asked me to stay. Thought I'd maybe get a little lonely but it was actually kinda good to have some time to myself after all the drama and shit with Buffy and Angel over the last few months. I knew I had to figure my own shit out before I tried to figure out what was goin' on with me and B.

It wasn't simple like it was with me and Angel. There was too much stuff in the middle there. Yeah, Angel and I had a dark past too but it didn't have jack on me and B. Plus, she'd already run off back to the west coast and I hadn't heard anything from her. Figures, right? I put myself out there only to have somebody slam the door shut right on my fingers. Whatever. It's all good. Chew and screw, that's the way I roll.

Except, I wasn't rollin' that way at all. Angel'd taken off to Gotham with mini slayer and Harry. Some noise about Norman Osborn. Never even heard of the guy, didn't see what the big deal was though. Thought havin' your dead dad back might be cool. Then again, if he was anything like my dad Richie Rich would be better off without him.

The point was? I wasn't going out and gettin' my swerve on with every boy in town. I probably shoulda been, it was always the best way to deal with crap. Hey, screwin' was way better than killin' people, right? I'd rather be a slut than a murderer. Not that it really mattered cause I was technically both already. Finally, I stopped to figure it out and it was Angel. I frowned sourly when I wondered about him and Buffy together but I didn't think it was like that. Especially didn't think it was like that when he called me up and asked me to take the next flight out to Gotham. Course I told him I'd go and if I got there and B was there too? I was gonna deck him. Just sayin'.

Maybe that wasn't fair considering last time I saw her we'd kinda made out a little bit but I didn't care. It was what it was.

He got us a hotel. Guess he didn't wanna deal with me and Kara in the same building. Not that I blamed him. I didn't really have a beef with the kid but she obviously had a bunch of problems and wasn't exactly jazzed about me and her dad. Tried to give her some space so no fights broke out. Had a feeling Angel and Richie wouldn't appreciate that one too much.

I was happy when I opened up the door to our room and saw he was the only one there. Place was pretty swank too. Was gettin' used to livin' a little more upscale. Could definitely get used to this.

"Miss me?" I asked him as I kicked the door shut and shoved him down on the bed. What? I could be pushy. It'd been a little while.

Hey B-

I'm just gonna start this whole thing off by saying I don't do this shit. This whole share and hug and cry, it just ain't me. I'm where you go for dirty deeds done dirt cheap. That's not really a commentary on you so don't take it personally or whatever like I know you do. It just is how it is. So I'm just saying? This whole letter thing? Never happened.

You think you suck at relationships? You should see my track record. Gonna spare you the sob story and just tell you that I don't do the whole relationship thing. Me and Soul Boy? We're not like that. And that's what I'm going to keep telling myself because denial is my friend.

I'll be straight with you, B. I love Angel. He's my best friend, always been there for me so I'll do whatever I gotta do to be there for him, you dig? You wanna talk about who I really want? It ain't him. Not that I don't want him or whatever but this shit has always been about me and you. You're the one that I want. Wanted you since the moment I rolled into town but I guess we just weren't ready then, right? Fuck if I know. Like I said, I put the suck back into relationships.

So there you have it. I want you. You want him. He wants us both but he's got an annoying curse, so what do we do here? Ball's in your court, girlfriend.

See ya soon, roomie.

Peace,
-F

Okay here is the deal. I appreciate the thought and sentiment behind the love meme. I think it's awesome, but I don't feel comfortable doing it the way it's being done because I interact with a lot of people and I'd end up leaving someone out. So, if you want to know what I love about your muse and/or you as a writer comment here and I will let you know.

There were two things that made Faith Lehane nervous- cops and Buffy Summers. Also, the movie Glitter but that was an entirely different story.

Faith wasn’t stupid. She knew that Buffy was here in town and that she was staying at Angel’s place. It was one of those things that was impossible to miss, but that Faith was working hard to ignore. Usually, she was a frequent visitor at Angel’s but since Buffy had come to town all (or well, just the one) booty calls were happening at the apartment that Harry Osborn had given to Faith in exchange for keeping a watchful eye on a young neighbor. She was content to keep things that way, to patiently bide her time until Buffy exited town. This was something that couldn’t happen soon enough in her opinion.

The reality was, Faith was expecting the old Dear John from Angel at any second. Buffy was back, obviously still interested and even though Buffy tended to fuck the soul right out of Angel, some things just couldn’t be denied. Some things were so palpable that no matter how hard she worked to ignore them, she just couldn’t. Buffy and Angel were soulmates, Faith was the third wheel. She tried to tell herself that she didn’t care. It’s not like her and Angel had ever bothered to put a label on what they were. They just…. were.

But if they just were, why wasn’t Faith running around New York like the little party girl she was, fucking every boy and girl within a ten mile radius?

Damn. Consciousness really fucking sucks sometimes. Faith bit the inside of her cheek until she could taste blood over the already pungent taste of whiskey rolling around in her mouth. The last time she’d seen Buffy had been the night she’d kissed her and then told her the truth about her and Angel. They’d swapped punches and insults right before Buffy kicked her out. It wasn’t exactly unexpected. In fact, Faith had acted out of a desire to piss Buffy off. She preferred the passion of anger from her sister slayer than the dull fake nice act she tended to spread around to everyone else. Faith wasn’t everyone else. She didn’t want to be treated like Willow or Xander or Gwen or whoever it was that Buffy was hanging around these days.

Buffy had tried to get her to talk in the coming days after she’d spread the news around the internet of Faith and Angel’s “relationship”. Normally, not really a big deal to anyone but Buffy but since Kara has easy access to the news, it had blown up in everyone’s face, including Faith’s. She hadn’t told Buffy about her and Angel to make Angel mad. She’d just done it to get a reaction.

She really shouldn’t have been surprised when it worked. But sometimes Faith had to fall down and scrape her knees a few times before she learned a lesson. Even an obvious one.

Immediately, Faith decided it had been long enough and now that she had made the decision she felt in control of the situation. She liked the feeling, it was better than just giving Buffy what she wanted, giving Buffy control. It was the reason why Faith had avoided her in the first place, to try and drive home the point that she wasn’t Buffy’s bitch. She wasn’t Spike, she wasn’t Angel or Riley. She was Faith, the badass slayer wearing tight leather pants and a smirk with a mean right hook. Everybody best recognize.

It was a stupid, bullshit game, just like everything that had ever gone down between the two of them but Faith never claimed to be mature. She was glad she’d had a few drinks earlier in the night, liquid courage guided her impulsive decision to stick a stake in her waistband, lock up the apartment and head over to Angel’s. She just hoped Angel himself wasn’t there.

Ask and you shall receive. Faith was pleasantly surprised to get to Angel’s apartment just in time to spy the vampire himself leaving. She wasn’t sure why but it hardly mattered, she used the opportunity to let herself into his place. Buffy was sitting on the couch with her legs curled up under her and reading a magazine as Faith hung back in the doorway.

“Hey.”

We have seen him. The Father. We have seen him.

What's happening to me?

We are.


I still remember the first time I ever saw him. Bruised and bloodied and totally empty, nothing left cause they'd stripped me of the one thing I had. Hope. Forced to my knees in front of his deformed hooved feet with my head bent. You're home now. And you can start by calling me Father. That's what he said to me, said to all of them actually. And then if you just didn't give into him, become another one of his maenads, you got the basement. All chained up and nowhere to go, no food, no water and still he came every night. Burned his mark into my arm, had his way with me. Every single night and still he couldn't break me.

Course, that wasn't really me. I guess even potential slayers get those annoying slayer dreams. Y'know the ones that are in like surround sound, so loud you can't even hear yourself think and when you wake up you feel like it really just happened to you. It did in it's own way, kind've. Just the slayer in me waking up, tapping into a girl who used to be a slayer a real long time ago. One who lost her daughter and her husband and her whole life to a demon. She was strong but he beat her anyway and in the end she wasn't stronger than her need for vengeance, because flash forward to me in Boston and this chick starts taking me over.

Yeah, literally. I'd lose myself for days and I dunno why I never told my watcher what the sitch was, I guess something in me just didn't wanna trust her sometimes, even though I should've. Really it was cause Artemia wanted to play out her little revenge scenario in my body. She was the whole reason I had one badass problem on my hands. Two whole weeks I was lost and she was in control and she made damn sure to make her mark on my little world, made sure that I had no choice but to throwdown with him. She was on her way out, and he was on his way to find me cause I had his mark scarred into my arm.

So I just had to wait for him, this vamp who conquered villages by decimating everything in sight. Killing all of the men and twisting the women into something not even human, his own army of slaves. The Father. The Worst of the Worst. Kakistos.

I just didn't really expect it to happen so soon. I told Artemia if I ever ran into him I'd stake him good for her but it wasn't like I was gonna go look for this guy. Truth be told he scared the shit out of me and I'd never even really seen him with my own two eyes, only in dreams. But when my Watcher called me and I heard him in the background I knew I didn't have a choice, I had to go, and so I went knowing full well that it was gonna be the last night of my life. It was weird how okay I was with that, I knew she was already dead if he had her. The first time I'd seen him he told me that I was home but that night it occured to me that I didn't have a home anymore. Nowhere left to go, and it felt almost free. I thought I had nothing to lose.

Guess things had changed over the years cause he just had vamps all over the place, like a whole army of them, no more maenads. They still forced me down though, on my knees staring down at those hooves with the blood of my watcher smeared across my face. I could still see her, or what was left of her out of the corner of my eye.

They thought they had me good, I even cried for them but what they didn't know was I still had the tanto hidden and let's just say I stuck it where the sun don't shine. Well, he was a vamp so I guess the sun don't shine anywhere on his ugly ass but you get the picture. He wasn't gonna be the father of anything ever again. After that, I was just on fire. There's no real words to describe that fight other than I was fighting for my life but there wasn't really anything inside anymore. I was just pure instinct, a killing machine. It wasn't like the rage blackouts cause I don't think I could forget this fight if I wanted to. All of it ended when I split his face right down the middle with my axe before turning tail and getting the fuck out of dodge like the devil was right behind me. And he was.

Guess there's some vamps you can't even kill with an axe to the face or a stake. You need a two by four and a little help from a badass blonde. Still, I killed that son of a bitch when I was sure from the first second I laid eyes on him that he was gonna kill me. I'll fight a thousand demons and none of them will ever get me like Kakistos did. Still think of him everytime I see the tat on my arm. But in the end? I got him.

I don't care what anybody says about me. Slut. Loser. Freak. I've heard it all before. I'm strong, baby. I can survive anything.

//locked to Angel//

Hey, I'm sorry that I caused you a bunch of trouble. I didn't think B'd go spilling the details to the kid. My bad. You've got a lot of stuff going on here and I think I'm creating more of a problem than I am actually helping you with anything, so I'm gonna take off. Sure we'll see each other again real soon.

Take care. And... thanks. Y'know, for everything.

//unlocked//

//locked to Harry//

Thanks for the apartment, it's wicked sweet and for trusting me to watch out for the Toad Kid. Thing is, I don't think this staying in one place for so long is really working out for me. I gotta get back on the road. Thanks for the digs again. Catch you on the flip side.

//unlocked//

//locked to Buffy//

No.

//unlocked//

//locked to Kara//

Really sorry that you had to find shit out the way that you did. I never wanted you to have to deal with that cause I know you're still missing your mom. I was never trying to replace her, just trying to be there for your dad. He loves you a lot you know? You're really lucky. Don't forget that.

Anyway, I'm heading out of town so... it was good to meet you. Take care of Addie.

//unlocked//

//locked to Gwen//

Sorry if I ruined your party.

//unlocked//

//locked to Todd//

It was nice knowing you kid. Take care.

//unlocked//

//locked to Peyton//

Hey, what's going on in Tree Hill? Got a couch I can sleep on? And lots of whiskey I can drink? Cause if so, you've got a house guest coming your way.

//unlocked//

"Show some respect!" Faith's mother used to scream at her whenever Faith tripped over a toy and accidentally broke the cheap plastic. Anytime she spoke too loud or asked too much or talked out of turn, her mother would grab a belt and demand that Faith show respect. Well, sometimes it was a belt, but the truth was Lena Lehane would use whatever she could get her hands on as a weapon.


* * * *


Faith was fourteen years old, holding an ice pack she'd picked up at the Nurse's Office to her bruised and swollen eye as Principal Martin paced in front of her. "You know what your problem is, Faith?" He asked her, but Faith could tell the question was rhetorical. She rolled her eyes anyhow. Martin was always trying to tell her what her problem was, and that she was the problem even if she was on the receiving end of the beat down. "You don't have any respect."


* * * *


"You don't have any respect for the things I do for you and your mom." Gable, Lena's newest boyfriend, would hiss in her ear as his big, meaty palm pushed down on Faith's face. The intent was to keep her from screaming but she had to struggle to breath around his fleshy hand as she scraped and scratched to be free. "I'll teach you." His breath was hot on her face as she felt him fumble with the button of her jeans.


* * * *


"Why should I respect anything about vampires?" Faith had exclaimed to her first watcher, honestly perplexed at the proposition. "Look, I don't gotta respect 'em to kill 'em. They can fight but I fight harder. They should be respectin' me." Faith grinned as she pulled her new favorite battle axe out of the weapons chest just before she was to leave on patrol. "I'll teach 'em."

Here are the rules:
1. Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me."
2. I will respond by asking you 5 questions of a very personal nature.
3. You will update your LJ with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this and an offer to interview someone else in the post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them 5 questions.


( From Wes )

( From Ray )


( From Alan )


( From Asher )

I'm back from my trip to Cali. Early, I know.

And no. I don't wanna talk about it.

To whoever nommed my ass for some retarded ass show?

Thanks for nothing.

//locked from Kara//

I'm not Buffy. I'm not even Cordelia who is trying like hell to be Buffy in her old age (though God knows why). Seriously, you can save your sob stories cause I'm not gonna bleed my heart out over them. You think life is tough now? Bitch, please. Mommy never hugged me enough, Daddy didn't come to my ballet recital when I was twelve.

Boo fucking hoo. Cry me a river, build a bridge and get the fuck over it.

I'm not totally cold-hearted, ya know? I get that sometimes life is a serious bitch and even every once in awhile, you need someone to lift you up off the pavement and dust the track marks off of you. Everybody needs a little help here and there but man, I have never seen such a cluster of crybabies in one place since I moved to New York.

So yeah, you wanna know when a good time to be unkind is? When people need a good sharp kick in the ass. Smell the reality and wake the fuck up. Life sucks and then you die. Deal with it.

I'm not here to be anybody's best friend except Angel's and maybe Buffy's if she'll ever let me. In fact, I'd prefer if we weren't. Everybody wonders where the hell I go off to. Somehow I manage to live in a big honkin' castle thanks to Harry Osborn and never run into anybody. Wanna know why? Because I am avoiding you. You and your whiny drama.

Now before you all go whining to the big man of the house that Faith was oh so mean to you, you can chill. I'm moving out.

Peace out, bitches.

So....looks like I'm moving out.

To whoever gifted Faith with a paid account and extra userpics,

Thank you!

Faith says thank you too. But under her breath and with a lot of attitude. <3

Apparently, yesterday was Mother's Day. I guess that means I should fly out to Boston and pour a vodka and tonic over that bitch's grave.

Happy Mother's Day, Mom. See ya in hell someday.

1. Ask me three questions you want to know the truth to.
2. I will pick two of them to answer
3. One I will tell the truth about
4. One I will lie about (the last you will have to try and answer for me)
5. Post this in your journal so others can ask you.

It's everybody's lucky day cause I'm buying everybody on my friend's list drinks tonight. It's kinda like B's but only better, cause it's mine.

Don't get too excited. It's imaginary, right? Just an exercise or whatever. Although if you really wanna have drinks you just gotta give me a shout. Also, you're paying.


Asher Talos aka _classact_. I find the guy entertaining as hell and I'm guessing if I were gonna buy him a drink it would probably be holy water. Drink up there, pal. It's gonna be a long, lonely night for yours truly.

Gwen Raiden aka _freaksrus. I'm just guessing here but I think if I were gonna try and get Gwennie a drink she'd like, I'd go for a dirty martini. Maybe something a little citrusy but not all girly and sweet like Buffy likes her drinks. We'd probably talk about leather pants, and hot boys and then after she'd had a couple martinis I'd ask her about what happened with her and Charlie Boy. Inquiring minds, y'know?

Fred Burkle aka _fredless. I'm thinking a Long Island Iced Tea for Texas. Yeah, it's a long way from Long Island but those southerners like their tea, right? Honest to God, I don't have a clue what I'd do with this girl. We'd probably just stare at each other until I fell asleep from boredom.

The First Evil aka _thefirstevil_. I hear Napalm is real tasty going down. Drink up, bitch.

Caleb Danvers aka caleb_danvers. He seems like an expensive whiskey kinda boy to me. Mostly cause he's got good taste. Just look at his hottie girlfriend if you don't believe me. We'd probably talk about Brooke and then play quarters or something they don't teach Harvard boys to do.

Logan Cale aka cannotbetraced. Something tells me I'd have to buy this guy a nice faggy chianti or something. Pass.

Peyton Sawyer aka chosendarkness. Girlfriend likes her whiskey but it don't really like her so I'm gonna be nice to Sawyer here. I'd buy Peyton a Sprite and then take her out on patrol with me. Then I'd find the wussiest fledgling vamp on the face of the planet and let Peyton work out her issues on it. I really think the world would owe me a favor for that one.

Sylar aka eternityticking. People tell me he's wicked evil or whatever so I'd probably buy him a shot of tequila. Evil tequila. Then we'd reminisce about old times when we could still kill people just cause we didn't like 'em.

Lindsey McDonald aka evilhandissue. I pretty much just have one agenda here. I'd buy him whatever got him drunk the fastest and ask what everyone's dying to know. Cordelia's boobs. Fake or real? Then I'd ask him about all those warm, fuzzy feelings he's obviously hiding for Angel.

Buffy Summers aka fakingitsomehow. I'd get B six rum and Cokes and see how drunk she'd have to get to admit that she thinks I'm hot.

Dean Winchester aka hunters_blood. I'd probably start Dean off with a couple of beers and then warm my way up to Jack Daniels. Somehow I have the feeling he's the only one who can appreciate good old JD. Then we'd obviously listen to Metallica and talk about killing monsters.

Sam Winchester aka hunters_gift. See above. Minus the music part cause I'm definitely not listening to any whiny emo Death Cab bullshit.

Claire Fisher aka icdedd_people. Now here's someone I could really chill with. We probably wouldn't even bother with a bar so I'd just bring her some gin and juice in a thermos. Then we'd sit outside somewhere and talk about how everyone else in the world sucks.

Doyle aka irish_doyle. Obviously I'd get the guy some Irish whiskey. At least, I would but I'm told he's already got a pretty hefty supply. So instead, I'd buy him a Screwdriver at the strip club.

Alec aka loveablex5rogue. I'd buy him a beer and get him to take me for a ride on his motorcycle. And then push him off of it so I can drive.

Angel aka not_a_eunuch. I gotta stick with the old standard here. It might not be his favorite drink but Soul Boy usually downs the whiskey anytime I'm with him. He's good at keeping up with me, in lots of different ways. So I'd buy him a round of Jack and then we'd go out and scare off the local vamp population.

Jack Shephard aka not_a_savage. Homeboy's gotta chill for serious! The only drink I'd get his control freak ass is a shot of Nyquil. Nighty night.

Giles aka notyourwatcher. Feels kinda weird drinking with G-Man, cause he's all old and responsible and stuff. I'd probably buy him a cup of tea and then fall asleep with my eyes open while he talked about boring stuff.

Harry Osborn aka osborn_heir. I feel like this Harry guy needs more alcohol than I could ever provide. Fuck the drink business, if I were gonna hang with him I'd smoke him up on the rooftop of his enormous fucking house.

John Winchester aka papa_winchester. No offense to Dean and Sam cause I got nothing but respect, but somehow I think Daddy Winchester's got a lot more stories to tell. Hell, I'd buy him just about anything he wanted if I could get him alone for a couple of hours to pick his brain about all the shit he's seen.

Illyria aka perfectblue. Uhh....???? Clorox? What do freaky blue people drink? I think the Smurfs drank mushroom juice or something but my memory's kinda foggy there. Maybe I should just give her mushrooms? Bet it'd be a serious trip to trip with the Blue Chick.

Brooke Davis aka pretty_girl. I'd get Brooke Davis a Brooke Davis. Because she's the only one who'll drink that nasty shit.

Wesley Wyndam-Pyce aka prodigalwatcher. I don't even know how to answer this question anymore. He's a lot different than he used to be. Do they make a drink for silent, yet still awkward understanding?

Cordelia Chase aka queen_c_tm. I'd buy the Cheerleader some Sangria and watch as she got drunk off the tasty punch. Then I'd buy some duct tape and put it over her mouth.

Ray Vecchio aka r_vecchio. Ray definitely doesn't need alcohol cause the guy shows his cards way too quick anyways but for the sake of this challenge, we'll say that I'm getting Ray a litre of Grey Goose. I'd stare at him while he drank the whole thing and see how long it would take until he got uncomfortable. I'm betting he dies of alcohol poisoning first.

Kara aka slayer3063790. That username is a bitch. Maybe I shoulda grabbed myself "slayer2" but that'd give B way too much of a happy. Anyhow, I wouldn't buy Kara any drinks and I wouldn't cook her rice or bake her brownies either. Unless they were laced with lithium, or she stopped calling me Grandma.

Bela Talbot aka sneakylilbela. Shit. I ain't buying her anything cause she could just steal it for us. Hey Bela, meet me at 9:00 with a handle of Patron. You're the best.

Spike aka soulful_spike. Man, I can't get this guy too fucked up or else he'll probably start blubbering like a baby and confessing all his deep, dark mommy issues or something. Not that I've ever seen anything like that from Spike, I just got a feeling.

Jondy aka thejondykitten. I dunno. I don't really know Jondy at all since we're newly friends and all. What does kitty wanna drink?

Dexter Morgan aka veryneatmonster. Definitely tequila for Dexter. The guy's so uptight he makes Buffy look like Britney Spears.

Only 3 word answers. Unless I feel like putting in more. YOU ARE NOT THE BOSS OF ME.

( Stolen from Buffy )

#1. Training with Angel. That's what we're still calling it, right Soul Boy? No offense to the big guy but he's wicked out of shape. What kind of pal would I be if I didn't help him get it together? Besides, I need him sharp. Ain't gonna be no fun hunting through New York City without him.

#2. Seeing Buffy again. I love rubbing the whole reformed thing in her face. Dude, no doubt Girlfriend and I got serious baggage but it's always good to see old girlfriends enemies friends...sort of.

#3. Hanging with Brooke and Peyton. Those girls get mad bitchy yo, but at least they're not wicked judgmental like most chicks I know. Been awhile since I had friends, at least friends who aren't a three zillion year old vampire.

Dude, I know. I'm getting all sentimental in my old age. Let's just say I've been on the road by myself for a long time now. Plus, y'know, prison. Wouldn't mind some company.

"I swear I didn't put those there." I raised my hands in mock surrender when Brooke and Peyton came back to the bar from the little girls' room and there were three shots waiting for us.

"It musta been the Whiskey Fairy." I swore. "Or Jack Daniels."

I had no clue what to expect from anyone or anything when I got to New York. It ain't exactly my town, y'know? I'm a Boston girl, represent and a Red Sox fan. Which means naturally I can't fuckin stand New Yorkers. It's a personal beef that I'm almost positive that all Bostonians are born with. But since I hadn't even seen Boston since I was seventeen I wasn't really gonna get all hung up on it. Even if the Yankees and Yankees fans suck a lot. See? I'm wicked open minded and shit.

Besides, I could stomach the Big Apple if it meant I got to hang with my best pal. Unfortunately, my best pal wasn't feelin' all that talkative these days. Alls I knew about him was that he was all emo cause of Darla and his punk kid and that somehow he had adopted a psychotic blond who was knocked up and married to a billionaire.

Oh yeah, cause none of that stuff needs to be explained.

Whatev. I met these two hot chicks that wanted to party and I was down.

"Let's get it on." I smirked at the two of them as the three of us threw our shots back.

At least New York was getting one thing right.


(RP thread open to chosendarkness & pretty_girl)

Magic potions ain't really my thing. I'd rather leave the hocus pocus to Red and stick to the slaying. The whole magick thing kind of trips me out cause it's mostly invisible. I mean, yeah maybe some old hag is messing around with Voodoo dolls or something but usually you can't tell one Sabrina from the next. And even when you do figure them out, there's no real rule like there are with demons. Are they evil or unevil? It's anybody's guess.

I'm getting way off topic here so we'll just pretend that the world is made out of cupcakes and that somehow somewhere I actually bought a magical potion.

My potion would potion would make the world a better place, and by that I mean boy bands would become an extinct species. So would brussell sprouts, Geometry and parole officers. In this ideal reality I'd have two things.

#1. A motorcycle (there's nothing like 600 cc's of raw power between your legs).
#2. The ability to fly.

These aren't totally selfish things either. I'd like to point out that I'm reformed and having a motorcycle and being able to fly would totally help me be a more kickass superhero. I mean, hell. With those two things at my disposable I'll be doing some Wesley Snipes action sequences and shit.

That is what my magical potion would do.